Funny Valentine

Background

Funny Valentine was born on September 20, 1847, to unnamed parents. He is a descendant of British nobles. Through the passing of time, his family lost the land passed down from previous generations and were left humiliated. When Funny was a child, his father went to war, and never came back. One day, when he was seven years old, a soldier named Captain Valentine came to Funny's house. Captain Valentine then told the story of Funny's father.↗↗↗↗

Behind the Steel Ball Run

When the Steel Ball Run starts, Valentine keeps an eye on its progress.↗

Deal With Diego Brando

By the time the top competitors cross the finish line of the 4th Stage in Kansas City, Valentine only knows that Blackmore made a call 5 km from the city but that the line was suddenly cut. Although he knows Mountain Tim was involved, Valentine remains focused on the unknown traitor. Diego Brando calls for a meeting in an alley and Valentine sends one of his men to meet the jockey, observing from a nearby roof.↗

Lucy's Infiltration

Valentine then goes to a presidential residence in Chicago, where he's joined by his wife Scarlet. He also meets Wekapipo at one point and hires him, promising the exiled Neapolitan US citizenship, right of permanence residence, and a high-ranking position in the government for him and any potential family if he kills Johnny and Gyro. The survivor of the Eleven Men retrieves the ears and right arm from Johnny and the next day, Diego informs his agent Mike O.↗↗

In Gettysburg

During the 7th Stage, Valentine is informed of Johnny and Gyro's movement toward Gettysburg. With all the Corpse Parts save the head being accounted for, Valentine deems that it is time for him to act. Valentine goes to Gettysburg and shoots Axl RO, whom he'd sent earlier to attack the heroes, "saving" Johnny from him and thus committing no sin, allowing Valentine to avoid being attacked by Axl's Civil War. He is able to retrieve the nearly completed Saint's Corpse and leaves unimpeded.↗

Battle Against Diego Brando and Wekapipo

On December 28, 1890, at 4:05 PM, Valentine spots Diego trying to infiltrate Independence Hall and lures him outside. He and his agent D-I-S-C-O go to a park nearby to confront Diego, Wekapipo, Johnny, and Gyro. While D-I-S-C-O fights Gyro at 4:10 PM, Valentine shoots Johnny but Johnny escapes into the sewers before he can finish him off. He also makes three parallel worlds co-exist to make Diego and Wekapipo also shoot alternate iterations of Johnny, confusing the witnesses.↗

The Completion of the Saint's Corpse

In the train, Ticket to Ride begins to take form and Valentine sees Diego and Hot Pants pursuing him. To slow them down, Valentine takes alternate iterations of Diego and Hot Pants from a parallel world and tosses them out of the train so that they disintegrate each other. On the train, Valentine observes Lucy's horrific transformation and realizes that she isn't a mere host but the head itself. Suddenly, Diego leaps to attack.↗

The Blessing of the Saint's Corpse

Valentine returns to witness strange spatial phenomena occurring that merge Hot Pants with random objects and kill her. Seeing that there is a convergence of the world around Lucy, Valentine understands that a new ability from the Saint's Corpse is manifesting itself and discovers a "gap" in space, a flat pocket dimension delimited by a wall of light. Valentine then notices Johnny outside of the train. Johnny shoots four nails and the bullet holes pursue the President.↗

Valentine's Demise

Seeing Tusk ACT4, Valentine understands his mistake and desperately recalls D4C inside of the light. However, when the nail collides with the wall, Tusk opens the wall and enters the gap in space to pummel D4C and Valentine to the ground so hard it creates a hole. Valentine flees by using his coat but finds himself buried alive since he hopped to a parallel world from under the ground level. He still manages to transfer D4C to another Valentine who immediately heads out to kill Johnny.↗

Eyes of Heaven

Valentine is at the origin of Eyes of Heaven 's storyline. His initial goal was to gather the Saint's Corpse, but after Johnny attacked him with the infinite rotation, he was forced to use Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap to escape through several parallel worlds. In one of these, Valentine found a DIO who had succeeded in defeating the Joestars and evolving his Stand to its full potential, conquering reality itself.↗

Appearance

Around the time he takes the rib cage of the Saint's Corpse, he gains a more fit and muscular appearance.↗

Personality

To do so, he seeks the blessing of the Saint Corpse Parts, becoming ecstatic when the Corpse blesses him. First acting through his subordinates early on in Steel Ball Run, Valentine later takes a greater active part in seizing the Saint's Corpse himself, confronting his enemies personally if need be, and claiming that he has no problem putting his life on the line to fulfill his objectives.↗↗↗↗↗

Despite this, Valentine is also callous about the lives of individual Americans, never hesitating to sacrifice his subordinates in his quest for the Corpse and going as far as to kill them himself if he deems it necessary.↗↗↗↗↗↗↗

He believes that power is founded on authority, and part of the reason he wants the Corpse is to obtain a spiritual authority on par with the Vatican. Valentine respects ambition and ruthlessness and ultimately entrusts the Corpse to an alternate Diego Brando.↗↗↗↗

Despite his marriage with Scarlet and the two sharing a certain fondness for each other, Valentine only appeared to be a little disturbed by her death. Valentine also keeps a professional distance from his subordinates at best, only caring that they fulfill his orders, whether they die or not.↗↗↗↗

Relationships / Family

Captain Valentine: When Funny Valentine was 7 years old, Captain Valentine would unfortunately bear the news of his father's death and his sacrifice in the name of patriotism.↗↗

He does not seem to mourn her death and later compares her to a sacrificial lamb.↗↗↗↗

Relationships / Allies

Valentine's Subordinates: Despite varying loyalty between all of his subordinates, Valentine sees them all as expandable and even kills Axl RO when he loses his usefulness without a shred of guilt.↗↗

Relationships / Enemies

Johnny Joestar: As both tried to gather the Saint's Corpse, Valentine and Johnny were enemies, but didn't interact much until their single fight. Because of his selfish motive, Valentine saw Johnny as unworthy of the Corpse and tried to kill him, though he treaded carefully with Johnny since Tusk was partly immune to his Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap.↗

Lucy Steel: Although he considers her an ally due to carrying the Saint's Corpse, she does not view him the same way.↗↗↗

Steven Steel: As a sponsor of the Steel Ball Run, Valentine is allied with Steven for his personal gain of finding the Saint's Corpse.↗↗↗

Appearances

Steel Ball Run Chapter 89: Break My Heart, Break Your Heart, Part 2 (Death)↗

Profile details

Status Status based on their final appearance in the part(s) they are featured in: Deceased (Part 7)↗

Date of Death: January 19, 1891↗↗

Cause of Death: Fatally shot by Johnny Joestar↗

He watches the competition from behind the curtains and hopes to gather the Saint's Corpse as a means to further the United States' ambitions.↗